Sunday, March 26, 2006

A Katrooian Birthday

Have I ever told you what they do in Katroo?

They work and they toil for the big BBU.

“It should never have happened it never was planned

Katroo should have been a birthday paradise land

It started out small just a party or two

Then having a bird became the ‘in’ thing to do

So we paid quite a bit for the service they’d give.

For one day a year our children knew how to live.

But the poor kids shouted “we want those birthdays for me”

So we gave them “Happy Birthday See-cur-it-y”

Each kid in the land no matter his riches

Gets the same birthday whatever his wish is

You’re taught propaganda as you ride on the goat

Katroo “double-think” that you know well by rote

Like “If you weren’t in Katroo then what would you do

The government knows what is good for you”

And, “This land is good all life here is pleasant

Please ignore the report of this poor oppressed peasant.”

Then you’ll go to the mountain and you will see

All of Katroo and you’ll shout “WE ARE WE”

You’ll eat spools of hot dogs despite your protest

Because differences cause all social unrest

Then the butchers, those vermin of capitalist vice,

Saw the demand for franks, so they jacked up the price

This couldn’t continue so we made price controls

On butchers then bakers, who stopped making rolls.

Then the time-telling fish once so many and fair

Due to our hunting became exceedingly rare.

Then we cut off the heat to the mustard-off pool

Anyone jumping in was branded a fool

Then the snip-snippers you see wanted minimum wages

So we killed them all, first one by one then in stages.

Then we needed more money, no problem, taxes galore

Those who protested, well, they aren’t heard anymore.

Then let’s find a pet, we culled all the tallest

We found one 3’3, the tallest of allest.

We send it back in a box, sealed with the finest of waxes.

Who cares what it costs, it’s funded by taxes.

Then those Birthday palaces, we need twenty or more

Just to handle one birthday du jour.

And the singing herrings and the cutters of cake

Are union employees, all in on the take.

Today you are we, that is true as can be

There is no one alive who is you-er than me

Be happy you aren’t some person boring and droll.

Like a peasant, a farmer, or even a prole.

Instead you’re important, a disciple of Stalin

So be happy, be ‘free’, you’re birthday is callin’

Don’t skimp on the money, it’s not yours your savin’

So go with the service of your birthday bird maven”

Then there were two parties, and then there was one

Then everyone was equal, for then there were none.


At 9:39 PM, Blogger Mike said...

By the way Tobie helped me with the rhythm of the poem as well as some of the words.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger Tobie said...

Bravo! I am quite impressed...the last bit with no one you-er than me, etc was excellent


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